A Year-End Script
I'm Sulistia Wargi. I was born from a woman who is strong and brave. Since childhood, I was educated as not to give up on life. My father is a stubborn but gentle person. I was actually raised by a family who full of love. Full of warmth and memories. I became the most spoiled child in my family. However, the more I grew, everything slowly changed. The house is empty, without residents. I may often tell my friends that do not visit my house in the morning and afternoon, because you will not meet people in it.
This morning, I was thrown into that atmosphere. My mind wanders freely and reaches the chair where I typed this sentences. Actually, what got me thrown into that atmosphere was when I realized that I was stupid. Approximately, what have I been doing for 19 years? What things have I achieved? and, how much do I give benefits for others?
Well, at the end of 2018, maybe it all will be answered. I covered my face with both my palms and rubbed all the gloom. I think why can other people be so lucky to get enough knowledge and opportunities in life? Sometimes I think that it is innate. That, they live and are raised by rich families and a very potential environment. Whereas I only departed from a modest family and environment which precisely isolated me, I seemed to be a pioneer.
However, I can't blame the situation. If someone was born as stupid person it is not a mistake, but if someone dies in a state of ignorance that's a mistake. And the biggest mistake is the unwillingness to learn. From that I started to study, try and pray. And relize that, everyone has their own field. When I see other people who are so good at counting, but I'm not reliable, maybe it's not my field. But the thing that really made me regret was that, for the past 19 years I had lost time to being myself, I was tossed around and shifted my focus. A system has changed my shape. Education system possible. System that prints teenagers to be what the country wants. Since elementary school, I was required to master many fields and it made me confused. Even though from childhood I was very interested in the fields of language, art, and government and world civilization. Since I was 4 years old I like to buy English books, draw, and think about why boy are very happy to tease my big sister, also thinking why factories are closed on Sundays and why my father works in a Chinese company, I also like reading encyclopedias and discovered the fact that the Pisa tower was made with 11 pieces of steel support, I also read about the colosseum and Rome.
All the things that are very interesting to me and make me very excited to wake up in the morning to take my book while drinking milk made by mom, I can no longer touch when I start busy with school activities. The school made me only focus on assignments and homework. I felt sorry for going to school at a public school, and thought that maybe things would get better if I went to school with a home-schooling system.
Again and again, I can't blame the situation, blame the system my beloved country has made. I just thought that all these bad things happened because of my lack of ability to lead myself. I should be more assertive and not confined to a paradigm that might be misleading.
This morning, I was thrown into that atmosphere. My mind wanders freely and reaches the chair where I typed this sentences. Actually, what got me thrown into that atmosphere was when I realized that I was stupid. Approximately, what have I been doing for 19 years? What things have I achieved? and, how much do I give benefits for others?
Well, at the end of 2018, maybe it all will be answered. I covered my face with both my palms and rubbed all the gloom. I think why can other people be so lucky to get enough knowledge and opportunities in life? Sometimes I think that it is innate. That, they live and are raised by rich families and a very potential environment. Whereas I only departed from a modest family and environment which precisely isolated me, I seemed to be a pioneer.
However, I can't blame the situation. If someone was born as stupid person it is not a mistake, but if someone dies in a state of ignorance that's a mistake. And the biggest mistake is the unwillingness to learn. From that I started to study, try and pray. And relize that, everyone has their own field. When I see other people who are so good at counting, but I'm not reliable, maybe it's not my field. But the thing that really made me regret was that, for the past 19 years I had lost time to being myself, I was tossed around and shifted my focus. A system has changed my shape. Education system possible. System that prints teenagers to be what the country wants. Since elementary school, I was required to master many fields and it made me confused. Even though from childhood I was very interested in the fields of language, art, and government and world civilization. Since I was 4 years old I like to buy English books, draw, and think about why boy are very happy to tease my big sister, also thinking why factories are closed on Sundays and why my father works in a Chinese company, I also like reading encyclopedias and discovered the fact that the Pisa tower was made with 11 pieces of steel support, I also read about the colosseum and Rome.
All the things that are very interesting to me and make me very excited to wake up in the morning to take my book while drinking milk made by mom, I can no longer touch when I start busy with school activities. The school made me only focus on assignments and homework. I felt sorry for going to school at a public school, and thought that maybe things would get better if I went to school with a home-schooling system.
Again and again, I can't blame the situation, blame the system my beloved country has made. I just thought that all these bad things happened because of my lack of ability to lead myself. I should be more assertive and not confined to a paradigm that might be misleading.
From now on, and actually starting when I entered college, I was determined to be myself and free my ability to be creative. Life is only once, be yourself, be reliable in our field, and spread benefits. See you 2018, thank you very much!
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